I'd Rather Be In Love
by BinkyTwinky
Summary: It's a song by Michelle Branch. Bakura thinks about Ryou. It's a break from my other fic, so R&R. ^_^


Disclaimer: I was getting bored with my other fic, because I can't find anywhere to make it go without betraying my PG13 promise. So I'm writing a song fic. The song is 'I'd Rather be in Love' by Michelle Branch. I thought the song was fitting. No flames, it's just a cute little one shot about Ryou and Bakura. Can you tell I like writing about them? R&R my peeps! I need the self-esteem! ^_^ BTW, it's in Bakura's point of view.  
  
  
  
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I looked down at the sleeping boy on the bed. I smiled to myself that he loved me. I wasn't completely sure myself whether or not I loved him back, but when I looked at him, I didn't need to question it. He was an angel. He is. He is my angel. My secret little guardian that I can't live without.  
  
I cannot help it  
  
I couldn't stop it if I tried  
  
The same old heartbeat fills the  
  
Emptiness I have inside  
  
And I've heard that you can't fight love  
  
So I won't complain  
  
'Cause why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on?  
  
He woke up and looked at me with an air of innocence that only he and Yugi can pull off. I looked away from his bright brown eyes. I hate looking into his eyes; he can see everything that way. He can see that I love him, that I want to be with him, what he really means to me. I don't want to show him how weak I am. The only way I can do that is to hurt him. It makes him stronger, right? Oh Ra, I don't know anymore. Look what you do to me Ryou. You make me crazy!  
  
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole  
  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
  
But without you I'm alone  
  
And I'd rather be in love with you  
  
  
  
But, maybe that's why I love you. You drive me crazy. I don't want to hurt you anymore my Aibou. My light. There is nothing more that I want than to see you happy. Well, no, I want you to be happy with me. I think I'm being selfish. He could never want to be with me. He probably hates me. But I still long for him. To feel his soft body wrapped in my arms. That is my wish, but will he let it come true?  
  
Turn out the lights now  
  
To see is to believe  
  
I just want you near me  
  
I just want you here with me  
  
And I'd give up everything only for you  
  
It's the least that I could do  
  
I started to feel uncomfortable with him watching me like that. I shot a glare in his direction and he quickly looked to his feet. He was afraid of me. I couldn't believe it! He was afraid of me. My amazement quickly faded to sorrow. He was afraid of me. I had hurt him so much that he was truly afraid of me. It was at that moment that I realized that the reason I hit him and beat him like that was because I hated myself. I didn't want the boy to grow to be like me. I wanted him to be stronger, but I was only making it worse.  
  
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole  
  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
  
But without you I'm alone  
  
And I'd rather be in love with you  
  
He got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. I wanted to stop him and apologize. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to confess everything. I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to love me back, but I knew that was impossible. I had hurt him too much to even think about asking his forgiveness. But what about begging? I nearly started to cry. Then I just let go and sobbed. He came up behind me and held me.  
  
And I feel you holding me  
  
I tightened when I felt his arms surround me, and soon melted. I quietly sobbed into his arm as he tried to comfort me. I was so terrified. I loved him. I do love him. And here he was, holding me. He wasn't afraid anymore. He saw the things that I would never let another human being see. He had seen it and survived. And now he was holding me. He let go to turn me around so I was facing him. He smiled and brushed the silent tears from my eyes.  
  
Why are we afraid to be in love?  
  
To be loved?  
  
I can't explain it  
  
I know it's tough to be loved  
  
I'm not afraid anymore. I love him, and even if he hates me and would send my soul back in the ring for another millennia, I would live it peaceably just knowing that I had said it. The only problem was I was too terrified to speak. So many doubts filled my thoughts that I just wanted to bury my head under the pillows. I wanted to tell Ryou how I felt, but I also wanted to die. I wanted to end it, end his suffering and mine. But I couldn't. One look at him told me that idea was foolish. He held me again, only now he was the one sobbing.  
  
And I feel you holding me  
  
I held on to him. I didn't ever want to let go. I couldn't. I wouldn't lose him. Never. Ra, I sound so selfish. I will let him go if he doesn't want me. In the end, I'll have to let him go. I mean, how could he possibly love me? I've ruined him. I've stolen his innocence. I've killed what was left of his soul. My soul. Our soul. We are one in so many ways, why not his way as well? I only want what you want. If you don't want me, then neither do I.  
  
Oh, oh  
  
And when there's you, I feel whole  
  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
  
But without you I'm alone  
  
And I'd rather be in love with you  
  
I let go of him and looked up, once again, into his chocolate colored eyes. He smiled at me and was about to say something, but I shushed him. I felt that old fear rising within me. Everything that I had promised myself had gone long ago. I was no longer that pathetic child with no past. I was in love. I was in love and I had a future. I looked at him again and felt the misty beginnings of tears in my eyes. He was already crying.  
  
And I'd rather be in love  
  
Yes, I'd rather be in love  
  
Oh, I'd rather be in love with you  
  
I cleared my throat and shook my head to rid it of my fears. If he didn't love me, I wouldn't push him. I sighed then took a huge breath. I closed my eyes and said the three words that I had feared all my life. "I love you." I had expected him to hit me, of jump away and scream, but instead he wrapped his arms around me and buried his head in my chest. He was crying still, and now it was worse. His crystalline tears soaked into my shirt and I felt helpless. He looked at me and whispered what I had always wanted to hear him say, "I love you too Yami."  
  
And I feel you holding me, oh  
  
  
  
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End. Did you like it? I love writing these! And I can find like a bazillion songs that work with this pairing! I was also thinking about doing a song for Yami and Yugi. They're a cute couple too. I'm going to stick with Michelle Branch because I love her songs and they all fit in. I was either going to use 'Drop in the Ocean' or 'You Set Me Free' maybe even another Ryou and Bakura one using "Sweet Misery'. Tell me which to use in your reviews! And if you've never heard any of these, just pick the one that you think sounds the best ((from what it's called)). Ja ne! 


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